For a long time I took “mature” to mean bad, unnecessary, or something that normal, unoriginal people do.  Or maybe it wasn’t the “mature” things, but the pseudo-mature things, like following fads, or cursing.  I never saw any need to “grow up” if I was not a yet grown up.  But I took this too far; I applied these self-righteous, supposedly protective standards to a lot of normal social interaction.  I had friends, of course, but small talk and between-class conversation, where people were mostly likely to say stupid things, were not for a smart person.

                Many years and embarrassments later, I saw what I was doing to myself.  I “snapped out of it”, and found that thinking this way for so long had left me an introverted shell of a person. I began to talk so much more. I would start conversations, take pleasantries seriously and chastise myself for not functioning like everyone else who burst into chit-chat in homeroom.  After my realization, I attempted school clubs, and contacted my friends more often. I even attended a five-person birthday party of a friend in a different school district- I knew no one there.  It turned out pretty well.

                I have since come full circle. It is mature to act your age, particularly in the one time- the high school years- you can get away with not doing it. If being in tune with one’s inner child means not saving money, or using a synonym for “rape” as an omniword, to name two examples, you are doing it very wrong.  Back to me, I understood too that not being readily able to, say, walk into a party and talk with a total stranger the entire time is not some sort of mortal flaw.  You can enjoy the relics of your past without shame; if you liked something then you don’t have to shun as something you liked when you did not know better!  These things I believe.